Media
6 items
Description
Shops you pick detour to a fake order that never arrives. The craving lands, the money doesn't. Nothing is ever charged. You already know which tab costs you money. This puts a door in front of it. Pick the shops. When you open one, you don't land on the shop — you land on an order form that asks what you were about to buy and what it was going to cost. Then it delivers it to you. Badly. A courier is assigned. He sets off. He gets closer. He arrives at your gate and calls to explain, at some length, that there was never a parcel and there is nothing in the bag. Nothing is charged. Nothing is held. Nothing arrives. That is the entire product. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU OPEN A SHOP YOU PICKED • The detour page opens instead of the shop, before the shop's page loads at all • It asks what you were buying — it never reads the page to find out • You imagine receiving it, about thirty times, which is the part that does the work • A courier is dispatched, arrives, and calls to apologise for the nothing • A receipt records what you didn't spend, and adds it to a running total WHAT IT WILL NOT DO • No streaks. Missing a day is not punished, and there is no run to break. • No motivational messages. Not one. • No leaderboard, no badges, no score. • No shaming. Using an emergency pass is a normal, supported thing to do. • No subscription, no account, no payment of any kind. EMERGENCY PASSES Two a week, ten minutes each, refilled on Monday. They open the real site when you genuinely need it. They are limited on purpose — unlimited flexibility measurably does nothing, and the limit is what makes it work. Running out is never a wall: you can switch any shop off in settings, always, and that is not cheating. ALWAYS LET ME THROUGH A keyword list — pharmacy, medicine, first-aid, and whatever you add — that skips the detour entirely. It is matched against the address only. Nobody should be blocked from buying medicine at 3am. STARTER LISTS 769 shops across six ready-made lists: marketplaces, clothes and beauty, groceries and 10-minute delivery, food delivery, gadgets and games, and bargains and resale. Load one list, or a few shops, or type your own. Nothing is switched on until you press it. OR GO SOMEWHERE THAT ALSO SELLS NOTHING The detour page offers the other dopamine sites — the same trend this came out of, where you get the whole ordering ritual and no parcel. They are links you can click, or ignore. You can switch the whole row off. You can also point one shop straight at one of them, if you'd rather skip the interstitial for that shop. That is off unless you turn it on. PRIVACY, PLAINLY This extension cannot read web pages. There is no content script in it at all. The redirect happens before a shop's page loads, so nothing on it is ever fetched by us — no product names, no prices, no carts, no payment fields, ever. Everything it stores — your shop list, your settings, your ledger — is in this browser on this machine. There is no server. There is no account. There is no analytics, no telemetry, no crash reporting, and no sync. Nothing is sent anywhere, because there is nowhere to send it. Settings will export all of it as a file, or erase all of it. Site permissions are requested one shop at a time, only for that shop, only when you add it. Removing a shop hands the permission back. This extension does not request access to all sites. WHAT IT DOES TO YOUR BROWSING Adding a shop means that shop stops opening normally for you, in this browser, until you pause or remove it. It redirects — it does not block at the network level and it does not filter anything. It only ever affects shops you added yourself, you are told this before you can add the first one, and loading a whole list asks again before it arms. THIS IS SATIRE It is a joke you install on purpose. It is not a shop, not a payment method, not a bank, and not affiliated with any retailer or delivery company. No money is ever received, held, moved or refunded — the ledger is a record of what you didn't spend, and it is not a wallet. The couriers are not real. The parcel was never real. That's the point.